So tonight I tried to reach out to somebody and I’m worried that it failed miserably. Wait, let me backtrack…
I am apart of the FSU Racquetball Club via Facebook (I’m not like an official member or anything) and the other day this guy in the group said he was going to quit. He was frustrated with losing all the time. Well, as you can tell from this blog, I have a terrible record, think Montreal Expos franchise record bad, when it comes to racquetball. Last week, I told him to keep at it and that it’s just a process to get better. But there is an entire other facet to this story, he’s me from 2010. Our body types were exactly the same. He even has blonde hair! I’ve watched him play before and I can only imagine that’s what I looked like when I started out. Anyway, over the weekend, I was thinking how I could reach out to him without being too intrusive and just let him know that I’ve been there and that it gets better. Tonight when I was working out, I saw him running around the track. I stalkerishly waited for him to walk off the track to make my move. I had so many things I wanted to say. I tend to think of things in a movie situation, so I had high hopes that we would at least have a conversation. I introduced myself, he nodded. I asked him if he was going to quit racquetball and he told me he wasn’t sure. Then I went in to my diatribe about keeping at it. I told him a little bit about my story and that I knew how he felt completely. I told him he would really regret quitting. I told him that I would love to play with him sometime. I was speaking to silence. He didn’t say anything the whole time. I walked off and I just felt like crap. I felt like I had completely failed on my first attempt to try to help someone. I think it’s hard because I’ve been there. I always had people trying to give me advice and even some saying “You’re going to die if you don’t lose this weight.” I knew they always meant well, but I was hoping this time it would be different. We are exactly the same! An overweight blonde playing racquetball??? It couldn’t have been better scripted! It’s just so hard when you have such a great message, the salvation of weight loss if you will, and you want to deliver people from this lifestyle that they were not meant to live. No one should go through life obese. It’s miserable. I know because it plagued my entire life until my fantastic wife bought that scale to see how overweight we really were. You never forget that life, how awkward you are in your own skin. I appreciate this new life I have been blessed with so much because I never forget. How do you get that across to people? Even though I’m really beating up myself about it, my wise mom reminded me that at least a seed was planted. Maybe it wont click for this guy now, tomorrow, or even in a month. But maybe it was a step in the right direction.
Nathan you may not have reached him, you may have and he just didn’t know what to say. But you HAVE reached me. Seeing someone I know and love do such incredible things is such an inspiration to me. I’ve only lost ten pounds and I feel so much better. You have inspired me to work for what I’ve always wanted and lose this weight.
So whether or not that was a success, please know that your amazing story HAS reached someone. You are like a brother to me and I love and respect you so much. Thank you for inspiring me to be the best I can be. (I rewrote that like 5 times, but it just keeps coming out cheesy. So smile and realize I’m not trying to be corny k?)
You gotta remember Nathan, he has to make the decision to be dedicated to himself first. Like you, I had to make a choose not to “diet” but change my way of life for forever. You may have thought you failed but you just planted the seed and now he will think about it even more and hopefully that will lead him to make his own decision to change his life too. No one can make it for him. I think you succeeded, just not in the way you had it planned out in your head.
-BT
Special K
It’s important that whether or not he responded, you’ve still reached out. Much like our Christian walk, there’s no changing people who have don’t want to see change. In a few days, months–whenever–he will most likely look back and be grateful that someone approached him; if even to acknowledge his struggle. This doesn’t necessarily guarantee he’ll stick with racquetball, but it may bleed through to the rest of his life. Kudos, dear.
Nathan, I agree that you did good by trying to reach out to him, and even if it doesn;t work right now, maybe in the future he’ll think back “Hey! That guy from racquetball really struck a chord. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I should give it my all and NOT GIVE UP!”
Thanks for all of the encouragement guys. You all are awesome. I think Special K was right, I know it has to be his decision, but it’s always hard when you have hope about how a certain conversation goes and then it doesn’t. That’s always hard. Either way, hopefully the seed has been planted and that’s a start! Thanks again guys!
Please don’t feel like you failed! Sometimes the message sinks in but maybe he wasn’t ready to act on it. You can have been very emotional on the inside and didn’t know what to say. You did what you thought was right reaching out and now the “racquet ball” is in his court.
Good for you for trying to help someone else out. Don’t shy away from doing it again.